Drum line competition

Drum lines are a relatively new interest of mine. I've always liked drumming, but only in the past few years have I learned about drum lines after hearing/seeing one up close and personal at church during a Christmas service. I wanted them to perform for my birthday but I guess that's out of the question! Anyway, today I went to experience my first drum line competition.
First the processing in impressed me. I know, I'm easy, but it was very enjoyable to me. Then when they played...yikes! Xylophones, and drums, and cymbals and a lone trumpet. What's not to like?? Even the judging was interesting..the guys said more about the playing than I would have ever thought about! I can't remember a single phrase they used, but it was new and fun and enlarged my world.
I don't have the time to recount my thoughts on the way home, but deciding to take a trip to Hawaii was the end result. LOL The thinking involved the judges, the kids, a video and report of a famous violinist, playing with heart, putting yourself really into it, discipline, liking who I am becoming, doing new things, going to Hawaii. Isn't it fun to have brains that skitter along the lines of our minds and come up with a fabulous surprise?!

Labor Day...wants vs. needs or "I hate to sweat"

There, now you know...I hate to sweat. I know it's a normal body function, trying to make me cool, but I hate it. All it does is make me wet. And I don't like to be wet... except in the ocean, or lake, or shower. Not outdoors when I'm doing work. Not after I've already showered. Not when I'm putting my "wants" to the side and doing a "need". Now I'm cranky. I'm irritated. I'm sick of living along. Not really sick of it, just annoyed that I have to do stuff around the outside of the house. I don't like yard work. But I also don't like walking out to the mailbox and getting covered by a spider's web. So that means, I needed to cut back the flowerless hibiscus. Now I showed them. I cut them way back. First no flowers, now no leaves! I'd haul them out of the ground today but that would require more sweating and I'm not in the mood.
Let's retrace my thinking...I wanted to drive to the beach today to look for sea glass or any other treasures. I'd printed the directions, gathered my necessities, just needed to go! But I'd also allowed myself to sleep in, so by the time I was ready to go, I decided I'd just as soon stay here and work on a sea glass project, rather than drive all that way and perhaps not find any treasures. My project is something for my classroom. All planned, just not started, and hence, not finished. But for some reason that little ugly nagging voice in my head, said, "Why don't you just trim back those two hibiscus plants?" and I figured it would be a small job and it wasn't too hot, so I could do it.Wrong.
Once I've cooled off, I'll do the project and change my mood, I'm sure. On holidays, I think I'll only do my wants. No needs. Those will be for other days.
Okay, I've learned another lesson, today. For me, in my reconstruction project, I'm going to do wants only on holidays.
No more labor for me today. I'm now smiling and I thank you for listening. You've been an immense help.
Happy Want Day!

Getting a Permit

For many construction jobs, there are several permits to acquire. Someone in authority has to okay, or check, your work. Is it up to the local or national standards?

Well, in my construction job, I need a permit to do/say/let loose/let go/spit out/cleanse or walk away from, and a close relative gave it to me today. She said, "I give you permission." As powerful as any permit in my book!

Do any of you remember the show Designing Women and the one episode where Mary Jo tells the audience of a public access show that a particular man was a bum, scum, and someone to run away from? Once he "got" the girl, he then would drop her for no apparent reason. There was a "support group" for the women who'd been dumped by this guy. Mary Jo warned all the listeners to run from guys like this and she even showed his picture.

Well, I have my own public service announcement. Remove yourself from the company of toxic individuals. Don't let them share your air. They may come in the form of negative people or selfish people; sarcastic or just plain irritating; perverted or devoid of moral fiber. They may try to offer bits of humor or something redeemable once in a while, but if you are recognizing that the cost (of being around them) is too high, run away. If they take too much energy and give you nothing, they are toxic. Get away. If it feels as if your skin is being burned off and you have only one arm left and that's not enough to defend yourself, get away. If you spend lots of energy making their world smooth so that they don't get upset, stop. It's an abyss.

Get away. Let go. Move away. Build your own boundaries to keep these bogey men out. Trust me they are scary because they don't look scary! They may be handsome, gregarious, charming (at first), personable, come from respectable families, but they have secrets that their families don't even know about. Do you tell the families? Would they even believe you? What would be the point? Vindication on your part? Not sure...but I have a story to tell to the nation.

Stay tuned.

That's all for today, folks.

"I don't like spiders and snakes" (who sings that?)

It's Saturday and I seem to have time to think and process and acknowledge and sift through and come to some conclusions by Saturday. I used to get up early and feel excited by Saturdays. Now I appreciate the opportunity to mellow on a Saturday...let the week soak in. Be. Don't worry about doing. Delicous.
In lieu of my construction process, today I have some bullet items that I've learned this week. Not without some mistakes, mind you, but learned all the same.
*Don't be friends with a snake.
(Remember the Garden of Eden )
*Pray before ANY decision, no matter how "good" it seems at the time.
(I'm way too trusting and needy for something...can't figure that out exactly.)
*Don't offer any info to the snake.
*Snakebites have venom.
*I'm too precious to be connected to something slithery and cold and lowdown.

a tractor among the motorcycles

I was driving in the country yesterday and in front of an ice house, I saw a row of motorcycles and one tractor. It cracked me up! Someone parked his tractor at the ice house??
Today I feel like that. I just don't fit in with the vision of myself. I knew when I got done teaching I was glad to be "myself" and not my teaching persona, but a week into the vacation, and I've not found "my place" yet. I know it all is under the change that comes with a divorce, but I wasn't prepared for that "I don't know who I am" again. I had that at first for several months into the separation, but I'd thought I was all "set" but I can tell now I'm not. I'm like jello..still jiggly and not "set". That's OK, now that I understand what's going on. It unnerved me for the last few days but today I figured out what's happening.
Whew...I'm just a tractor surrounded by motorcycles. I may always be different, and that's ok, but I may just be in transition. This is my journey and I'm learning as I go.

Summertime....and the livin' is easy.....

"Summertime, summertime, sum- sum- summertime" is a song from years back. The time frame holds rich possibilities for me. Each day is a gift that I've longed for and looked forward to and had to wait for. I feel free. What will I do with each day? I'm filled with hope and joy.
Friday when I turned in my keys I had no idea that at that moment, I would feel free. A weight lifted from my shoulders. Later that afternoon, when I walked across my street to the mailbox, I felt different than I had for most of this year. I realized I was "Cynthia" again and not Mrs. (last name) for a parcel of time and I liked that. I've missed her. I've had to take on a different persona being a teacher full time and I'm ready to reclaim me.
I read the paper from front to back today looking for, and thinking about, "what's out there that I'd like to do/see/experience"? I looked through the movies, but I don't want to be inside. I'll want to visit some beaches on weekends; places I've never gone to. Someone wrote about a "grateful" journal. Someone else wrote about adventures and what they feel like. I want to push my boundries and have some adventures of my own. Of course, going to Rome with Mamma and my two sisters will fall under that category bigtime!
I had my granddaughter over last night for our first "sleepover". It was fun and this morning with her hair hanging down to her chin, totally covering her face, and mine spiked up every whichway, I just laughed at the sight we made!
I want to do something new each day and that will take some thought. Of course, today I stayed in my jammies all day and that didn't take any planning, but I think I'll drive somewhere before I call it a day. I want to get outdoors every single day.
Today was delicious and totally enjoyed. Reading the paper on the day it came was a treat! Watching movies was just delightful. No plans to write tonight. Yippeeeeee. Teaching produces things always hanging over you. It's such a relief to be out from under that pressure. My neck aches need a reprieve.
So that's about it for today. I hope to write regularly and I'm glad I have my time back.
In the good ole summertime....

Coming to the end

In a month I will no longer go to work each day. My fifth graders will be gone. They will be looking towards junior high and I will be sleeping late and breathing in summer, but right now I am sad. I don't want to lose them. I've worked very hard this year and they have inched their way into my heart. This week has been a turning point. I can see the end coming and I'm realizing that with all the difficulties I have had with some of them, I can also see growth and I am proud of that for them. I am proud of the time and energy I have invested in them. I am proud of the way they have "turned out". We've worked hard together and I'm seeing the fruits of our labor and now that we know how to work with each other, I don't want to let that go, only to get another group next year who know nothing about how to work with me, nor how I should work with them. Plus they are going to be third graders. They're going to seem like "babies" to me and I'll have to start all over again. (moan and sigh....)
Who'll fix my computer? Who'll find anything/everything I lose or misplace? Who'll see things to be done and do them? Who'll offer to do this or that and handle in on their own, 'cause they are old enough to know how to do lots of things? It wigs me out. Mentally I am already making notes about how to train the next class.
I know this is purely selfish and I certainly want my students to go to their next step, but I'm honestly going to miss them. It's been a good year and I'm getting all mushy....

Thank you, Lord, for this group. Please help them move on and help me to let go. Ends are also chances for new beginnings...