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Two days ago, I had two surgeries. The first was to repair an abdominal hernia and the other was to remove a large (can we say softball sized?) lipoma on my back/right shoulder. It was an all day affair, and I knew I'd come home with a drain from the lipoma which I'd need to empty for 5 days, but since I couldn't "void", I needed to have a catheter inserted. Ouch. That was just too much. Things weren't working out, so there were two nurses who had to attend to this procedure. I was in tears…physically hurting and emotionally hurt from the lack of dignity having this done.
Now to go home. (I've just reread what I'd written the day after surgery, but I'll skip that now.) I'll just say that coming home with a catheter "bag" was not to my liking. That done, now how to get into bed?
My bed is high and requires a two-step stool to get in. But with the hernia surgery, I came home wearing a 10-12" elastic tummy holder-inner. That meant I couldn't bend forward comfortably. With a grenade-sized plastic thingy pinned to the top of that and the drain line coming down my right side, I also had the wonderful catheter bag…now what to do with that? Nurse had said to put it in a pillow case and tuck under the mattress. Not allowing me enough room to move around….line wasn't as long as we needed. Now comes the Yankee ingenuity.
We assembled the following:
one pair of crutches
a step stool with the bar that goes up and around so to brace your legs when you're on the thing, or gives you something to hold onto when you move it
a pillow case
a length of sturdy rope
a plastic hanger
a walking stick
Now to assemble. Normal steps (used to get into bed) are put midway down the side of the bed. Step stool is opened and placed between wooden steps and bureau at top of bed. Rope is doubled, and looped around the bottom post on bed, knots tied at 12" intervals and brought up to the step stool. This is used to pull on to let me gingerly sit down and when I'm lying down, I pull on this to get me up to a seated position on the side of the bed. What to put it (rope) on so once I was in bed, how did I reach it when I needed it? We slid the hanger down over the stick-up part of the step stool and I drape the last knot across the neck of the hanger and it stays within my reach. Now the seat of the step stool is the resting place of the catheter bag within the pillowcase. Covered up, yet within reach. When I got up from the bed, I used the step stool as my "walker" getting into the bathroom the first day. Now I don't need it. Walking stick goes with me. It helps me gingerly sit in chair in my room, or downstairs, and helps me get up from same chairs. The crutches are not used as a pair. One is in the downstairs bathroom, to assist me getting down or up from the toilet. No counters there to help me. Then in my bathroom upstairs I keep the other crutch for the same purpose. That toilet is next to a counter, so I can use the counter under my right arm and the crutch in my left hand to do a good job getting on and off the toilet.
Now this next part is not for the faint of heart. Hey, I'm finally tired after getting up to take a pain pill, so I'll finish later.
