Coming to the end

In a month I will no longer go to work each day. My fifth graders will be gone. They will be looking towards junior high and I will be sleeping late and breathing in summer, but right now I am sad. I don't want to lose them. I've worked very hard this year and they have inched their way into my heart. This week has been a turning point. I can see the end coming and I'm realizing that with all the difficulties I have had with some of them, I can also see growth and I am proud of that for them. I am proud of the time and energy I have invested in them. I am proud of the way they have "turned out". We've worked hard together and I'm seeing the fruits of our labor and now that we know how to work with each other, I don't want to let that go, only to get another group next year who know nothing about how to work with me, nor how I should work with them. Plus they are going to be third graders. They're going to seem like "babies" to me and I'll have to start all over again. (moan and sigh....)
Who'll fix my computer? Who'll find anything/everything I lose or misplace? Who'll see things to be done and do them? Who'll offer to do this or that and handle in on their own, 'cause they are old enough to know how to do lots of things? It wigs me out. Mentally I am already making notes about how to train the next class.
I know this is purely selfish and I certainly want my students to go to their next step, but I'm honestly going to miss them. It's been a good year and I'm getting all mushy....

Thank you, Lord, for this group. Please help them move on and help me to let go. Ends are also chances for new beginnings...