Christmas is Coming (with no goose getting fat!)

Today is the day before the real day before Christmas. I've been an elf and helped my daughter with a gift she was making. Now I need to get wrapping and creating my own gift, but I'd rather write tonight.
When one lives alone, it seems weird to decorate the house...put the stuff out, look at it myself, and then put all the stuff away. I've ALWAYS hated that part...the putting away. Somehow this year, I just didn't have the interest, or the time. As it turned out, I'm leaving Christmas afternoon for a time away, so I'm glad I don't have to deal with decor. In the meantime, I had given it it some thought...was I lazy? depressed? was it always going to be that way? I finally decided that I was just fine. For this year, I didn't put my Christmas stuff out. That's all it was. A simple decision to keep it simple. I made no cookies or candy either. Okay, so it doesn't "feel" like Christmas, but that's something I can live with.
So for all of you who live alone, or are going through other changes, and you find yourself not wanting to do "what you've always done", give yourself permission to not do it. Or do something different. It's all right.
Merry Christmas and May God bless your new year

Summer is here!!

"Summahtime and the livin' is easy"...oh, those lyrics sound soothing and inviting. On Friday school ended and boy, do I need some easier days. Not that I need the hammock and lemonade every single day, but teaching this year pretty much depleted me. The kids, the administration, the schedule. The results of giving so much of myself to my students seems worth it to me. They have changed a lot over the year and I'm proud of their emotional and educational growth. Many of them I'll miss. Some are moving, some I wish would move. I'm glad I didn't have to move classrooms or grade level. Some weren't as fortunate as me. Enough about that.

I now get to look to Maine and replenishment. Nourishment. Rejuvenation. Where I get to be me in a different way. Why is that? Aren't I me here? I get nourishment from the scenery. I get nourishment from friends with whom I share a history. I get nourishment from looking for seaglass, my very favorite way to spend time. It relaxes me and revs me up all at the same time. Weird.
I'm hungry, so will close on that and get some supper.

a new year

A new year means all sorts of things to me...I've also just celebrated a birthday and among other things, I want to put my house back in some semblance of order (that means putting away the Christmas decorations); I want to exercise; I want to do better, be better and definitely look better! I want to trim down, slim down, and "get down"! I want, I want...sounds like a kid to me.
I believe I've written about wants and needs before, but it comes back to that now. If I want, such and so, I will need to stop....if I want to be thinner, I need to stop eating so much. If I want to exercise, then I'll need to do it! If I want to not be sleep deprived when I go back to work, then I'll need to go to bed on time. Sounds so simple, but how come it isn't?
Perhaps in 2010, I'll figure out how to match my wants with my needs. Perhaps...but in the meantime, let me sleep on it. Boy, I do like my sleep time....z-z-z-z

Frivolous or necessary.... want or need

Over the weekend, the couch and love seat I had been borrowing went back to their real owners and I was left with my own couch, which I'd never liked. I had it moved back into my living room, sat on it, and gagged (inside). Yuck. Uncomfortable. The ones I'd been borrowing were yummy, wide, soft and Friday-night-sleepable. Get a soft yummy blanket, settle in after a long week, and you could take a good nap. Okay, it would be less than fun to wake up and have to go upstairs to bed, but I did it many a Friday night. It felt that good.
So Saturday afternoon, I skeedaddled off to the local furniture store to look around. I felt like Goldilocks. I sat on any couch that might be appropriate. But they were too hard, or stiff, or catch me wrong, or have "lazy-boy" chairs involved..those hurt my legs when closing the footrest part, so "no thanks" to pain! Where was the replica of what had been taken from my house that morning?
In the middle of my search, I found a beautiful yellow flowered couch but it was SO beautiful, I felt it wasn't worthy of my interest. It was too expensive. It was too pretty. Isn't a couch supposed to blend in? All the other couches I'd sat on were varying shades of browngreengray or some such indescribable color. This stood out. I moved on and tried EVERY couch that might remotely be comfy. As I walked back through the store (with a very patient saleslady) I re-sat on a few. Then the price would be higher than I'd want. I wasn't sold on any of them, but was trying to "make do" with something! I didn't want to continue to sit on what was currently holding a spot in my living room. We got back to the yellow, blue, green happy couch. I sat on it and it felt perfect. I LOVED how it looked and how it made me feel. It was wider than some, though not as wide as what I'd been borrowing. It fit me. H-m-m-m....But it was so pretty. When the saleslady said it was a "happy" couch or a "fun" couch, I was struck. I'm into fun and happy! I wanted this couch. (Plus the price wasn't as bad now that I'd found out what stuff costs out there.) Hey, might as well take the ottoman, too. Go for double fun!!
That was the first time I'd ever purchased something that big by myself. It was scary, but also exhilerating. Once I made the decision, I decided to get rid of the matching chair/ottoman that never have appealed to me anyway and ditch the entertainment center. Might as well. I'm discovering what I like and what I want in my home. And it feels mighty good.

Drum line competition

Drum lines are a relatively new interest of mine. I've always liked drumming, but only in the past few years have I learned about drum lines after hearing/seeing one up close and personal at church during a Christmas service. I wanted them to perform for my birthday but I guess that's out of the question! Anyway, today I went to experience my first drum line competition.
First the processing in impressed me. I know, I'm easy, but it was very enjoyable to me. Then when they played...yikes! Xylophones, and drums, and cymbals and a lone trumpet. What's not to like?? Even the judging was interesting..the guys said more about the playing than I would have ever thought about! I can't remember a single phrase they used, but it was new and fun and enlarged my world.
I don't have the time to recount my thoughts on the way home, but deciding to take a trip to Hawaii was the end result. LOL The thinking involved the judges, the kids, a video and report of a famous violinist, playing with heart, putting yourself really into it, discipline, liking who I am becoming, doing new things, going to Hawaii. Isn't it fun to have brains that skitter along the lines of our minds and come up with a fabulous surprise?!

Labor Day...wants vs. needs or "I hate to sweat"

There, now you know...I hate to sweat. I know it's a normal body function, trying to make me cool, but I hate it. All it does is make me wet. And I don't like to be wet... except in the ocean, or lake, or shower. Not outdoors when I'm doing work. Not after I've already showered. Not when I'm putting my "wants" to the side and doing a "need". Now I'm cranky. I'm irritated. I'm sick of living along. Not really sick of it, just annoyed that I have to do stuff around the outside of the house. I don't like yard work. But I also don't like walking out to the mailbox and getting covered by a spider's web. So that means, I needed to cut back the flowerless hibiscus. Now I showed them. I cut them way back. First no flowers, now no leaves! I'd haul them out of the ground today but that would require more sweating and I'm not in the mood.
Let's retrace my thinking...I wanted to drive to the beach today to look for sea glass or any other treasures. I'd printed the directions, gathered my necessities, just needed to go! But I'd also allowed myself to sleep in, so by the time I was ready to go, I decided I'd just as soon stay here and work on a sea glass project, rather than drive all that way and perhaps not find any treasures. My project is something for my classroom. All planned, just not started, and hence, not finished. But for some reason that little ugly nagging voice in my head, said, "Why don't you just trim back those two hibiscus plants?" and I figured it would be a small job and it wasn't too hot, so I could do it.Wrong.
Once I've cooled off, I'll do the project and change my mood, I'm sure. On holidays, I think I'll only do my wants. No needs. Those will be for other days.
Okay, I've learned another lesson, today. For me, in my reconstruction project, I'm going to do wants only on holidays.
No more labor for me today. I'm now smiling and I thank you for listening. You've been an immense help.
Happy Want Day!

Getting a Permit

For many construction jobs, there are several permits to acquire. Someone in authority has to okay, or check, your work. Is it up to the local or national standards?

Well, in my construction job, I need a permit to do/say/let loose/let go/spit out/cleanse or walk away from, and a close relative gave it to me today. She said, "I give you permission." As powerful as any permit in my book!

Do any of you remember the show Designing Women and the one episode where Mary Jo tells the audience of a public access show that a particular man was a bum, scum, and someone to run away from? Once he "got" the girl, he then would drop her for no apparent reason. There was a "support group" for the women who'd been dumped by this guy. Mary Jo warned all the listeners to run from guys like this and she even showed his picture.

Well, I have my own public service announcement. Remove yourself from the company of toxic individuals. Don't let them share your air. They may come in the form of negative people or selfish people; sarcastic or just plain irritating; perverted or devoid of moral fiber. They may try to offer bits of humor or something redeemable once in a while, but if you are recognizing that the cost (of being around them) is too high, run away. If they take too much energy and give you nothing, they are toxic. Get away. If it feels as if your skin is being burned off and you have only one arm left and that's not enough to defend yourself, get away. If you spend lots of energy making their world smooth so that they don't get upset, stop. It's an abyss.

Get away. Let go. Move away. Build your own boundaries to keep these bogey men out. Trust me they are scary because they don't look scary! They may be handsome, gregarious, charming (at first), personable, come from respectable families, but they have secrets that their families don't even know about. Do you tell the families? Would they even believe you? What would be the point? Vindication on your part? Not sure...but I have a story to tell to the nation.

Stay tuned.

That's all for today, folks.