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A very dear friend had a birthday on Friday and I didn't call, send a card or even email a greeting and she called me on it. I appreciate that she could tell me that, and I've apologized, but it has really affected me. I used to be on top of my life. I wrote out cards and bought, or made, gifts on time and was an attentive friend. I managed my home, made my bed everyday, worked part time, was a wife and a mother (to grown up kids), paid the bills, kept up with the dishes, (ok, not so well) and balanced my life, or at least I thought I did.
A year ago, my life did a huge "about face" and I haven't been "on top of my game" ever since. I no longer keep up with the kitchen, make my bed, or even eat enough (can we say "any") vegetables!! I am always trying to play "catch up" with just about every area and I don't know how to get caught up, let alone, ahead of the game.
I am now "under construction". My last name is Cameron and I subbed for 20-odd years in the local elementary schools and while my kids were in that same age category, I wanted our dinner table talk to be pleasant with no name-calling from the kids. One day I think my son said of me that I was "Cameron Construction Company, where we build people up and not tear people down." My life is now under construction. I want to build myself up and not tear myself down, but it takes more than those words. I need a blueprint and an architect and a construction company.
God is my architect. The Bible is my blueprint. I am the project manager. I have now read several of the plans. I've talked with my Architect at length. He's suggested ways to rebuild me. I'm really trying to listen and I am very optimistic. My "home" for years wasn't as solid as I thought. I put too much trust in it. I hoped I knew best how to keep my "home" from crumbling, but the foundation just wasn't there. I'm now in the process of building a new life and I want a secure foundation. It's there now.
That's as far as I am today and decided to keep a log. Join me in my construction project.
Cynthia, I LOVE this blog as a way of starting a new phase of your life. As you may know, my husband, Jeff, is a General Contractor, so I have had a front row seat in many rebuilding projects, large and small, over the last 30 years. Recently, I wrote a short story for him, who, as you may also know, relies on the same Master Architect. See what you think. Love, Susan
ReplyDeleteREBUILDING A HEART
When you talk about the difference between a remodel and a demolish and rebuild, there are three things, that most people outside the construction field never know, that I have learned over many years from my husband Jeff, who is a wonderful Contractor, if I do say so myself.
First, there are specific rules in place concerning the authority, or the jurisdiction, having to do with the phases of a construction job. Major sections of a project can be stalled for months, if permits are not signed by the right authorities and filed at the correct offices (and by the way, fees paid in cash) before any demolition begins at the beginning or in specific phases along the way. As anyone who has dealt with a Federal or State office can testify, these rules are not flexible.
Second, if you look at things only from a pragmatic point of view, a demolish and rebuild is a good idea. It is cheaper, quicker, less inconvenient, etc., but it doesn’t address the idea of sentimentality. There is a historical value and an irreplaceableness of materials that should be addressed in the discussion of reconstruction. My husband tells me that only a master builder can take a house that is very old but in need of a rebuild, and renovate it, securing its foundation for soundness, update its plumbing and electrical for safety, expand the floor-plan for the sake of a growing family, and make the new addition blend into the historical look of the old in such a way as to not destroy its essence, so that when you look at the finished project, you can say to yourself, “that looks like it has always been there.”
Third, in the case of a fire or flood, an expert Restoration Contractor must cull out the destruction first, just to get the job site to a suitable starting point. These projects require extra time, special permits and often the delicate care of traumatized owners who are still shell shocked. To make things worse, their insurance company will sometimes decide not to pay for the claim based on points of technicality.
When I think of the remodeling and rebuilding that God can do in my human heart, I am reminded that although He is the Creator of the Universe, He still will not start a construction project on and in any human heart without the proper permits, secured by my free will choices. Any work that begins in my heart can be stalled for years because He has already decided not to violate my will to choose or not to choose Him over myself. As it is with building permits, this concept is never flexible. As I live through each aspect of renovation in my heart, I pause in thought and prayer to sign permits to Jesus allowing Him access to those areas that need remodeling. Even more wonderful, He has paid the price for those permits with something much more precious than cash money.
There are those who think that the conversion of the human heart should require a wiping away of every trace element of the person that was before. I believe in a God that places some gifts and callings inherent in hearts that He refuses to repent of; historical things that were knit into our core being by Him while we were yet in our Mother’s womb. Only the Master Builder can protect those innate qualities during the disarray of reconstruction, updating our capacity for more power to serve needs, while expanding space in our floor-plan accommodating more people, and only Jesus is able to weave it together into a tapestry that is beautiful to Him.
In the case of catastrophic heart damage due to abuse of some kind, only The Restoration Construction expert can be called on to bring beauty out of the ashes, pulling souls drowned by unbearable sorrow out of the deep and resuscitating them with the breath of Life so that new heart construction can be begin. Projects like this always take more time and patience, support and understanding from friends and family, and the surrender of ones permission for heart alteration can be more difficult and more costly. The wonderful thing for these delicate heart owners is that once permits are secured, there is no insurance company in the world that can stop God’s enterprise because of some technicality.
The idea of rebuild and remodel of the human heart is so full of possibilities. My question is this: Is faith in Jesus Christ a journey where we live in a daily covenant relationship with the Master Builder who has the custom blue print for our lives, supplies the quality raw materials, paid the required fees and actively holds our hands through the process of our choosing Him over ourselves effecting the heart remodel of a lifetime?
Susan Ardith Lee 2009
Yes, I've read this from you and it's said much more elequently than I could and yes, it goes along with my views, too. Isn't this just one more confirmation, affirmation, and indication that we serve a creative and wonderful God!
ReplyDeleteThank you reading my first blog and sharing your own thoughts. We'll journey together into blogland!
The wise man builds his house upon the rock. We know foundation is everything. I will enjoy watching the construction on my new mamma. LOVE YOU!
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